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Monday, February 6, 2012

Just....Breathe

Have you ever had a time in your life, when it seems like it's one thing after another that you have to deal with?  You get so caught up in what's going on around you, that you forget to make time for the things you enjoy?  That's been me for the last few months. 

Besides transitioning my daughter who's a junior in HS to virtual school through our district, and getting her into a routine with that, I've been dealing with several other stressors in my life.  I've had some health issues, and been trying to get them figured out.  I've had asthma since I was 5yrs old.  A year ago I was dx'd with arthritis in my back, along with several Tarlov Cysts on both sides of my spine.  -Tarlov cysts grow in your spinal nerves, encompassing the nerve roots.  When they fill up with cerebrial spinal fluid, they put pressure on the nerves causing a lot of pain.  They can also cause headaches, incontinence, and loss of motor function in your feet and legs. 

Is that enough for one 41 year old woman to have?  Apparantely not.  In Oct. I was dx'd by a rheumatologist with Fibromyalgia.  Not really caring for that Dr at all, I went to The Cleveland Clinic this past Wednesday for a 2nd opinion and to see if I wanted to switch Rheumatologists and stay on with the CC.  After spending almost 4hrs there...examination, looking over past lab results, 13 vials of blood taken, more xrays, etc. my fibromyalgia dx was confirmed, along with the dx's of AC Joint arthritis in both shoulders, osteoarthritis in both knees, bone spurs on my left hip, IBS, and probable PCOS (like my daughter was dx'd with at the age of 15). 

I'm not one who likes to take medicine.  I never have, even as a child or teen.  I'd have to be about dying to before I'd let my mom give me a Tylenol.  I don't know what my deal is about meds, but I've just never liked putting them into my system.  Prescription pain killers?  Forget it.  Can't stand the way they make me feel.  -Yep, I'd make a really bad druggy because I do. not. like. the feeling LOL.  So, it makes me disgusted and feel "week" that I'm now on medication daily.  The pain has been so, so bad the last few months, that I really have no choice.  I just swallow a pill and cringe.  Most narcotic pain pills don't take away the pain of fibromyalgia, but Ultram is regularly used.  I can say that at least it doesn't give me as funny of a feeling as other pain pills do.  They also reduce my pain by about 50% most of the time...making it annoying but not untolerable.  I still HATE them though, because they completely wire me and I fight insomnia due to the fibro in a bad kind of way.  I also have zanaflex, to help with my muscle spasms that I get due to both the fibro and the tarlov cysts.  Add in amitriptyline at bedtime to help aid me sleeping, helps with pain and helps with the depression caused by all of my health issues, plus 800mg of Ibuprofen as needed and I feel like a walking pharmacy.  Not to mention albuterol as needed for the asthma.

I haven't been dealing with all of this very well, and therefore had stopped taking time for ME...and to do things I enjoy.  Things like finding deals, blogging, reading, and photography.  A friend of my parents called me and asked me if I'd be the photographer for her wedding, and that helped to pull me out of my funk a little.  Regardless of how I feel bills still need paid, things are needed to finish my kitchen (still don't have a ceiling in it, need new flooring, and need to finish buying cabinets...and the dish washer took a complete puke on me and I have to have one...it hurts me way too bad to stand and wash dishes) and co-pays for doctors and medicine.  Soooo....back to reality time for me. 

I don't make much off this blog, but I am an amazon associate so I make a little bit when people access amazon through my site and then order or place items in their cart that they order within a certain time frame.  I also make a few cents for each coupon someone prints, from the coupons listed at the top of my blog, or when I post a direct link to them on my blog.  Even though I was hiding in my dark spot, people were still accessing Amazon from this blog and placing orders.  For that, I want to say a huge thank you to whomever you are.  Your support means a lot to me.  I want to thank ALL of you, for sticking with this blog even with my spuradic posts as of late.  It truly means the world to me.  I'm at 70 followers, do you think you all could help me reach at least 100?  That would put a huge smile on my face!  Thank you all again, for all of your support.  =)

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